Had a long day at work, so I'm pulling from a back-up stash of entries for when I just don't have the time.
I mentioned before that I have a very complex self identity. Part of that was all the moving around while growing up, but another part was that initial move. Since I was only three and a half when I immigrated from China, I could be first or second generation American, depending on how you want to look at it. That is probably why I always called myself the 1.5 generation (not knowing that it is actually a recognized term!).
I could be first generation if you feel that anyone who personally immigrated is the first generation, or the children of those immigrants are the first generation. I could be second generation if you feel that the children of the immigrants are the second generation. However, children of immigrants are typically assumed to be born in the US rather than brought over at a young age. So, I don't fit very neatly into any of the more traditional ways of viewing immigrant generations. It's all very confusing.
I always grew up thinking that first generation meant that you were the first to enter the country. However, that would put my parents and I on an even field, which didn't make sense. Hence, the one and a half generation - because I was born abroad, but grew up here. There are plenty of others who did the same and they may be equally confused as to what generation they are considered.
So I never knew if I was an immigrant because I had an alien card or if I was American because I became a naturalized citizen? Well, as it turns out, these things never have easy answers and I just accept being a little of both. Neither one really, yet both at the same time. This is how I imagine it would be to be a biracial or multiracial person. You are at once all of your parts, but none of them individually, and the sum of your parts does not equal an even whole, but more than that, with the interaction of the parts.
Rather than be confused or upset by this, I find it rather amusing and fun. It certainly makes for a lively conversation if the topic comes up. Self identity is such a complex issue; it can't really be simple for anyone. So, I like to think of its nuances from time to time, but I never really worry myself about it. We've all got to find our way in life and this is only part of the discovery. Then there's figuring out what we to define our lives by, in terms of our hobbies, abilities, lifestyle, and occupation.
This issue is only the tip of the iceberg! There's a lot we can identify ourselves with, which changes over time too. So you know what, I'm not about to have an identity crisis. It's cool. Who am I? Well, you'll just have to see.
0 Comments
I am not sure how it happened, but 8Asians started to follow me on Twitter! When I was notified of this, it got me to go back to their site to read some of their entries. I eventually came across an article about teaching your kid Chinese, as a response to an article that the author had read about the decision to not teach your kid Chinese. It was interesting to see the perspectives on this issue, being one who went through years of Chinese school. Though I hated getting up on Sunday mornings to go learn, the extra homework that inevitably came with extra schooling, and the difficulty of learning the characters, it is something that I am tremendously grateful for. This is a thought that comes up periodically in my life. It's not that I'm a nomad, but I have no true hometown to speak of. I am not really "native" to anywhere. Though I was born in China, I grew up in the United States. Does that make me "native American" (as opposed to Native American)? I don't feel so. Then do I feel Chinese? Not enough, especially when I go back to visit and the very way I look and hold myself gives me away immediately. Plus, my way of thought is greatly influenced by the American culture. What a day! I left for Kollab around 4:30 in the afternoon yesterday and just got back 11 hours later. It was intense. From the obscene amount of traffic to get there to getting in early enough for awesome seats (and pit access!), it was quite the adventure. I even ran into three accidents on the drive down from home (somehow always ending up in the lane where the debris was from the collisions). Not the best start to the day, but it ended on a very high note. So who all was there? Well... Kenichi Ebina, Jazmin, Paul Dateh, Kina Grannis, Lilybeth Evardome, Jane Lui, and David Choi competed; BoA, Jo Koy, Kaba Modern, Fanny Pak, Norman Ng, and Team Millennia performed; Printz Board, James Kyson Lee, James Ryu, Welly Yang, and Teddy Zee judged; random volunteers from the audience freestyled; and of course, my lovely AKP brothers and I attended, along with the rest of the sold-out crowd (including Philip Wang, Wesley Chan, MySpace Tom...). Jane Lui on the piano, earning her second place. Kina Grannis at the after party. Yet, interestingly enough, a lot of popular YouTubers are of some sort of Asian descent. What happened there? It seems that having a platform that empowers the individual to make it on their own enables these Asians who are not making it on the big scene to create a following of their own. Kollaboration is a means of getting those types of artists to the forefront through exposure beyond social media. Social media is more grassroots whereas Kollaboration is more mainstream. It can help slowly bridge the gap between online phenomenon and nation-wide star. Aww, David Choi was really enjoying himself. BoA wants to Eat You Up. When that part of the evening ended, my fraternity brothers and I took a break to get something to eat before heading over to the after party. I was fortunate enough to come across Philip Wang, Wesley Chan, David Choi, Kina Grannis, and the guy who won the freestyle vocal competition (gosh, what was his name?)*. And I took pictures with them. Of course. ;) It was sooo exhilarating! I never run into people that I know from some sort of media outlet. It's cool to see them in person. AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I heart Wong Fu (too bad Ted's in NYC). They're so sweet. :) Smiles all around. Maybe this is why I like low-key "stars" - they don't have some sort of upkeep to make them happy and they really appreciate their fans so much more. I'm not into the big Hollywood stars and I probably would want pictures, but wouldn't care to really interact with them beyond that. Part of that is because they probably wouldn't give me the light of day anyway, but part of that is because they've got so many fans they're probably used to that whole lifestyle already. I'd much rather appreciate those who are more real, living like I am, working in less than ideal situations, but nevertheless pursuing their passions. Not that there aren't A-list stars who do that, but they just don't interest me. |
laelene My philosophy is simple: things change. Therefore, we are all on a lifelong journey of discovery. We should be flexible, questioning, learning, adapting, and growing. Always. Archives
May 2009
Categories
All
|