I've never been one to ask for help. Even though the people around me have been more than willing to do so, I grew up so used to doing things on my own that it doesn't even occur to me to ask much of the time. I have learned to be an extremely resourceful person and therefore, I love to share all the things I discover. Yet rarely do I turn to my family and friends to ask them for their opinion or input on something. Instead, I take the "I can do it" attitude a bit too far and miss out on the opportunity to bond with them and make them feel useful to me.
This is something I'm working on changing so I can allow myself to rely on others every now and then. But it's a hard thing to do, placing trust in someone else when you'd much rather just do it yourself. It's hard to resist the urge to hop online and find the answers I need on my own. I realize I've missed out on a lot because of this, from time spent getting help on my homework so I wouldn't waste so much time not getting it to relationships that didn't deepen because I didn't open up very much. It's a slow process to break this instinct to plow through piles of information to get my desired answer, rather than to interrupt a conversation or approach someone to ask them for their wealth of knowledge.
One great thing about my fraternity's mailing list is that we can share with each other all sorts of information and ask for help if needed. That is one of the few places I've ever reached out to ask for others' opinions, thoughts, or knowledge. Even then, I much prefer to help out whenever I can and share my experiences and expertise. I think it's wonderful to have a network like that that I can tap into whenever I want, it's like having friends who never leave you, even if you hardly keep in touch. I'm more used to maintaining relationships that are far less maintenance than traditional ones, where the closest people to me only talk to me periodically, typically monthly or less.
So, now with a boyfriend who I can't go a day without talking to in one way or another, I'm starting to learn more about maintaining relationships. Though it's difficult to remain close to people when everyone is moving about all around the world, there are still plenty of ways to stay in touch and remain updated on each others' lives. I'm also trying to keep track of who is doing what, who is good at what, who likes what, etc. so I can tap into that in future, whether by asking for help or offering an opportunity. I don't know how quickly I can change an age-old habit of self-sufficiency, but to feel more in touch with people, I'll try to make the effort. Perhaps getting around to replying to all my facebook wall posts will be the start!
0 Comments
I can't recall where our household TVs were in most of the places I grew up. In fact, my first memory of really consistently watching TV was back in middle school, around 7th grade. That was when we had moved to New York and I remember coming back from school to watch trash shows like Ricki Lake and then classics like Fresh Prince of Bel Air as I ate my way through a few bags of instant chicken ramen. I never really cared for cartoons and other animated shows, so I pretty much just stuck to whatever was on when I got home from school. Prior to that, I had always read books for fun. I think the change began when I started to come out of my shell and be more sociable at school. Coming out of my own world and integrating into the larger one introduced me to this phenomenon that seems inescapable in the American culture. I decided to go back to Mint.com today to check out how my finances are doing. It's really an amazing tool, putting all of my money in the same place for me to easily see. It was always a chore for me to sign in to my bank accounts, then my various credit card accounts, all so I could see how much money I had, how much I owed, and how things were doing for me overall. Now I just need Mint.com to keep track of it for me! As I was filling out the information for my new retirement accounts (gosh, that is a strange thing to think about), I also completed the rest of my profile. One of the questions they had for me was what my credit score is. Well, I certainly don't have a clue. In fact, I've never known my credit score! So, I decided it was time to find out. I feel quite good about today overall, since it has been a long and busy day. Though it started off a bit slow, with Marylin and I running half an hour behind schedule, it was still an efficient day. A lot of things happened, starting with the mysteriously loud bangs we were hearing - turns out it was the water jug delivery guys. We got our new stash of water to guzzle (which we do at a very high pace), then received two samples of pillows and blankets from a company in China (for Napper's other business), and the model ship we have been waiting for! The ship was made by prison inmates and donated to the Yellow Ribbon Project as a way to promote giving prisoners a second chance. When Zen saw it, he was very keen to buy it and was actually able to! I always love mail (and packages especially), so it was rather exciting to keep getting deliveries to the door. I'm making my way through Blink, which talks about how powerful our unconscious minds are. One of the things it mentions is how height, gender, and other physical traits can really influence us, even if on a subconscious level. It's going to take us a long time to ever overcome (or even come close to that) initial impressions based on a person's appearance. Those who are taller exude more power; those who are well-shaped exemplify better health; and those who are good-looking are expected to be better people at everything they do. It takes a lot of training and exposure to lessen the effects of the unconscious feelings we get from our split-second judgment of a person. It's a sad truth of evolution that we tend to have these immediate reactions. It's how we size people up at a glance. I spent the last two days manning a table at the SHRI HR Congress to promote Right Impact Training, the training and education part of Caelan & Sage. At first, Marylin handled the people who came to our booth as I listened to what she said, how she said it, what she was asked, and how she responded. Soon enough, I was at it on my own, engaging people who came by to check us out or stood looking at us curiously. This was reminiscent of my training day for Natural Selection Promotions, where I met with one of the demo-ers and she showed me the ropes. As I observed how she did it, I began to lure more customers over to try the product and after a bit, I was quite well-versed in why it was a great thing to eat. So, as I do, I sat back and watched until I was ready to try it out on my own. For the most part it went decently, with just a few people who were less than receptive and left without leaving any contact info. Occasionally, I'd get a question that I didn't really know, so Marylin would jump in and provide more details. Right before I left LA, I had two very different experiences with customer service that brought to the forefront the idea that how you provide your service is very important for your image. Then, as I mentioned yesterday, I just recently had another experience that emphasizes how great customer service can make up somebody's mind about the quality of your work! Even if the quality of your product or service is not related to the quality of your customer service, people will tend to go for people and companies they like and trust rather than ones that have no personal connection, but are mavens at what they do. And that is the influence of word of mouth, which powers viral marketing. Nothing is more reliable than the opinions of your closest friends, family, and colleagues. So, a word to the wise, outstanding customer service can trump many marketing schemes. And in this day and age, it probably costs a lot less to train employees to interact with your clients considerately than to put out a campaign. Now let me describe my experiences. Today, I got an e-mail from my mother asking if I had set up an IRA yet. I had joined Mint.com a few weeks ago, which sent me a couple of e-mails since then, reminding me that if I opened up an Individual Retirement Account before Tax Day, I could save thousands! Thrice I went, filled out all my info to see what I qualified for, and decided that I should go for a Roth IRA. Thrice I left it at that, not daring to click on the links below to Fidelity, Scottrade, E*Trade, or Charles Schwab to actually set up an account. So today, I decided it was now or never. With only two and a half days left before the big deadline, I went ahead and tried out Fidelity. I was watching a video with clips of an interview conducted overlooking the San Fernando Valley today and it brought up so many memories, particularly of Valentine's Day, when Panda and I had a similar view. Seeing that, with the California sun and telltale smog, made me miss LA so much. Not just the memories and experiences from there, but the greater Los Angeles area in general. From the landscape to the opportunities to the people, there is so much to love. Between two cities in LA County, I have spent the greater part of the last six years living in Southern California. I have certainly grown to the love place, despite the hours I spent travelling up and down the 5 and 405, stuck in traffic. Of course, there is also a slew of terrific memories of all the wonderful things I got to experience there. Most recently, there was the drive up and down Mulholland Drive that brought about some great new views of familiar territory. Then earliest on, I had been introduced to many of the main attractions in the area, from Santa Monica Pier to the Hollywood Bowl. I attended yet another forum today, this time on the topic of whether Singapore is ready to be a sporty nation. In other words, they don't have a very strong sports culture at the moment, but it is growing stronger and there are those who are interested in bringing it to the forefront. They want to develop a following for uni level sports like in the states, where college teams are closely followed, or produce athletes like in Russia, which is a powerhouse for certain sports. Well, those are just models to look at anyway. Generally, they just want Singaporeans to embrace an active lifestyle, whether by playing sports themselves or supporting and rooting for those who do (especially if they represent the country in international meets). |
laelene My philosophy is simple: things change. Therefore, we are all on a lifelong journey of discovery. We should be flexible, questioning, learning, adapting, and growing. Always. Archives
May 2009
Categories
All
|